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Day 365 - One year!

>> Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Wow. One year has passed since I started this little journey of mine. One year ago, I set out a challenge for myself that I promised I would continue to document on this blog.

That challenge was this - I would give myself one year to get my goals back on track and try to pursue a career in songwriting and in acting. I would blog every day, and use this blog to account for what I was doing to go after my dreams.

The reality? Well I definitely didn't blog every day - I have learnt that if you blog every day, you either blog for a living or don't have a full-time job. ;) My life is just too busy a lot of the time to set aside a moment every single day to sit down and blog, and sometimes I just didn't have the energy to do it or want to do it, even if I did have the time! My blog also became a lot more to me than just a blog for tracking my career aspirations. I kind of like to use this blog as a little diary, and I know that a whole bunch of stuff I've posted in the last year had nothing to do with music (or acting), but was just a lot more about my thoughts and random stuff that had happened, etc.

Looking back over my progress over the last year, I can see that some things haven't changed. I'm still at the job I was at before, and part of me still feels as confused as ever as to what I'm going to end up doing as a career. I still struggle with finding a balance between what I spend my time doing, and what I want to spend my time doing. I still have huge moments of inspiration (creatively) and long stretches of time where I don't do anything creative at all.

What has changed? Well I know for sure that music will always be a part of my life, but I'm not sure how large a part that will be, or in what form. I know now though that worrying about that is not a good use of my time, because frankly whether or not I "make it" in the music business is not up to me. God knows what His plan is for me, and I'm confident and sure enough now in my spirituality to know that if that's the path I'm meant to go on, than it will happen. I also know that the humanitarian work I've done in the last year and a half has changed my life for the better and has (in a big way) changed the course of my life forever. That is, and always will be, a major part of my life and who I am, and I am forever grateful for that.

I also know now that acting is not what I'm meant to be spending my time on right now. I still love acting, and if the opportunity ever presented itself to do something in the acting field, I would definitely seriously consider it, but for now my life is focused on music (when the inspiration strikes) and continuing to find opportunities for myself and others to travel to Africa (specifically Uganda) to continue helping in that country in whatever way we can.

It's funny - I've always been the kind of person who wants a "plan", and wants to know where I'm at and where I'm going. Trying to document that this last year I think has actually taught me that it's okay to not have a plan, to not know where you are and what's coming up next. I feel now that my life is sort of in "limbo" - I don't know what the next year, or 5 years, or 10 years will hold. Heck, I don't even know what the next 6 months will hold! But you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with having different aspects of my life up in the air and not knowing where they're going to land. At 30, I don't have it all "together", but the one thing in life that is really important, the love, well I've been blessed in that department time and time again. I've got that in spades. Whatever else encompasses my life is icing on the cake.

So what of this 'ole blog of mine? Well a year may be up, but I'll continue to blog about my life and what I'm learning along the way. Hopefully whomever reads this will find it either useful or hopefully at least somewhat entertaining.

It's September, a new school year has started for all the young-uns, and it's the season for new beginnings and fresh starts for the rest of us. I'm excited to welcome Fall just being grateful for the amazing summer I had and for all the amazing things I know are to come.

Thank-you to everyone whose followed this blog, left comments or sent me email messages, and hopefully you'll continue to do so as I continue to stumble along this "road less traveled".

Cheers . . . :)


Anonymous September 9, 2010 at 11:24 PM  

very thought provoking words!! thanks Suz!

Sara September 9, 2010 at 11:24 PM  

sorry the above was me! forgot to write my name.. opps!

JTCF September 10, 2010 at 7:58 AM  

"Life is a journey, not a destination." is a quote that came to mind when I read you entry. It sounds like even though your passions haven't changed, you've changed. Maybe it's being 30, or maybe it's going to Africa for a second time, but I hope that this "not planning" brings you many blessings. I've enjoyed sharing in your life this year and hope I can continue to do so through your blog, so Thank you. :)

Suzanne September 19, 2010 at 8:45 PM  

Thanks for the great comments gals!

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