Randomness

Here's some random thoughts of mine for today:

* Sometimes I think I talk too much. Someone will ask me how my day was (just out of politeness) and suddenly I find myself telling them every single detail about my day. Even while I'm talking I'm thinking to myself "too much information Suzanne - they don't need to know about the bee that chased you down the street while you were walking the dog or the fact that you forgot to mail a birthday card" yet I just can't make myself shut-up. I definitely suffer from verbal diarrhea way too often.

* I love rain in the summer (especially a sun shower) - I took a break from packing this afternoon and just sat on my bed with the sun streaming in listening and smelling the rain. Perfect moment.

* My new favourite magazine is "Self". Used to be the Oprah magazine but I find it's too repetitive and sometimes a little too introspective. Self seems much more accessible to me right now.

* I love being tan. I've gotten smart though and no longer tan the "real" (ie. dangerous) way. I just started using the new Jergens daily glow stuff that has SPF in it. I've only used it for one day now and already a look a little more "glowy".

* CFRB 1010 rocks my world. I could listen to that radio station all day and not get bored. (My favs are Bill Carroll, the Motts, and John Moore). Sometimes I go out for lunch just so I can listen to the Motts for 30 minutes while I eat!

* I have made a pledge to myself that the only fast food I will eat from now on is Mr.Sub or Subway (or anything else that is a healthier alternative). No more greasy fries or burgers for me!

* I'm much more productive in the early morning than in the afternoon. I can usually get more done between the hours of 5am to 9am than any other time of the day.

* I can sometimes be the queen of procrastinating. Here I am blogging while I should be packing. Maybe I'll watch one of my "guilty pleasure" DVD's while I pack my books (namely my Newlyweds DVDs or my Alias collection.) I know Nick and Jessica are no longer together and Alias isn't on TV anymore, but anyone whose watched these shows has to admit they are kind of addicting (and the kind of thing you can watch over and over again).

Okay, I'm signing off for today - I probably won't have a chance to update again until next week when we've completed the move and our internet is back up and running, so Happy Canada Day everyone!

Read more...

Moving . . . again

I am about to move again. This wouldn't seem like such a big deal, except it'll be my sixth house in less than three years. Oy vey. We're moving to the house on the church property, and I am pretty excited as it's a great house (big, yet cosy, a salt-water pool, lot's of beautiful property, and a great wood-panelled room that's going to be my office/music room). I just hate the actual process of moving. We've had access to the house for the past couple of days so we've been slowly moving some stuff in already, cleaning, and repainting some rooms. I still have yet to pack up all my books (and believe me - this is a huge task - I am a bookstore manager after all) and then we're renting a truck and doing the big move this weekend. Say it with me folks - Oy vey.

Hopefully we're in this house for quite awhile as I honestly don't think I'll be up for another move for at least several years. It's also a great house to have lots of little kids running around in! (No, I'm not pregnant yet - there will be no babies until after next spring's Africa trip) I'm also excited at the prospect of becoming more active at the church and building some relationships with the members of the youth group. It's been difficult to get involved as our current house is just too far away and we couldn't afford the gas money to have both of us driving to and from the church every week. Also, half the time I'm too exhausted after work to do much of anything, let alone have the energy to interact with the youth and be my best self. Now I'll be much closer (right across the parking lot)! and attending youth group won't involve a tiring 2-hour round-trip! The amount of money we're going to save from Chris' monthly gas bill is going to be amazing!

My health has been up and down for the past month. I really thought I was getting better, but I still experience the chest pain a couple of times a day. Our real estate agent has a friend who has something called "Prinzmetal Angina" and it actually sounds exactly like what I have. Once we get settled in at the new house, I'm going to follow up with my doctor as having chest pain every day kinda sucks.

I have started exercising (running and yoga). I have muscles hurting that I never even knew existed! My running is actually pretty sad as I could barely make it to the end of my street. I modified my plan a little and now run for one song, speed-walk for one song, etc). At the end of a half-hour I'm pooped but I'd forgotten how good it feels to have a good sweat!

Alright, I'm off to start packing my books. I've been procrastinating for awhile as it was such a beautiful day today. I have to admit the "breaks" I've taken from packing today have been pretty long (it is summer now and you have to enjoy it while it's here)!

Read more...

Love, love, love

I am in love with the world. I'm finally feeling like my normal self again, and let me tell you - after two weeks of feeling like a zombie, feeling "normal" feels pretty great! There really is nothing like feeling crappy for awhile to make you appreciate your health and your life more than ever. I've been thinking a lot the past couple of weeks about things (as there was not much else to do). Thinking about where I am in life, what I'm doing (and what I'm not doing), who I am and who I could be, what I'm grateful for and what I wish I could change. Here's a couple of things I came up with:

- I am extremely blessed. I have a great family and friends who love me for exactly who I am. I am married to the love of my life who thinks I'm the funniest, cutest, most lovable person ever (not saying I am, but hey - if he thinks I am, who am I to argue)? I have a full-time job with great benefits, a roof over my head and food in the fridge, and even though sometimes it's a struggle to pay the bills, I know that I will never have to live on the street or worry about many of the things a lot of other people have to worry about. I live in a country where we don't have to worry about footing the bill for our hospital stays, where you can become whatever and whomever you want to be and don't have to censore yourself. I have more doors open to me and possible pathways to follow then some people could even imagine. I am truly, truly blessed.

- What else do I know? I know that with all these blessings, I have not yet fully realized my true potential or my true self. I know that perhaps knowing yourself, really knowing yourself, is a life-long pursuit. Maybe it is not until we are old and dying that we realize who we really are. Is that what wisdom is? Not knowing things, but knowing yourself? I think I'm coming to the realization that maybe the answer to the age-old question "what is the purpose of life" is simply this: to know who you are. If you know who you are, everything else will fall into place. If you truly know yourself, nothing can stand in your way. And if you know yourself, you would be able to connect with life and thus connect with others on a deeper level every day of your life. You would naturally strive to serve your family, your community, the world in an effort to make the world a better place after you are gone. Hmm, this is getting quite existential, so let me reel myself back in here. In order to better realize my true potential, there are some things I have now realized I need to do. These are all things I've thought about for awhile now but have simply come into sharper focus over the last couple of weeks:

* I'm going to go back to school. I don't know exactly for what or in what capacity, but I miss learning. I loved school. I missed school. I need to open my mind and kick-start that brain again!
* I'm going to volunteer. I need to better serve my community and make use of my time in a more productive manner. I am great at consuming and taking, but not so great at giving. I'm thinking I'll volunteer either at a hospital or an animal shelter.
* I'm going to do a triathlon. I have no idea how or when, but I'm going to do one within the next year.
* I'm going to meditate and pray. Every day. No matter what, no matter how busy I am. Everyday for at least half an hour.

As the lyrics go in one of Gavin Degraw's songs (he's amazing): "Oh, this is the start of something good -don't you agree? I haven't felt like this in so many moons, you know what I mean?"

Read more...

The good, the bad, and the sickly?

Sometimes life throws something at you that catches you so off guard it's almost unbelievable.

Two weeks ago, I'm sitting at home after work checking my email when suddenly I get some pretty strong chest pains (by strong I mean strong - imagine someone reaching inside your chest and squeezing your heart - that's what it felt like). I've had chest pain before, but it's always gone away after a bit so I figured it was nothing serious and just tried to ignore it. Well four days later it's still there so my hubby insists on taking me to the walk-in clinic. The doctor at the clinic then insists that I go to the hospital emergency room as anything to do with chest pain can be serious. (I was still telling myself it was nothing). We then spend all night in the ER only to be told that they don't know what's causing the pain but to follow up with my family doctor.

I go back to work a day later (after again telling myself that it's nothing serious and I probably just pulled a muscle or something), but then the next day I have to leave work in a hurry as the pain has gotten worse and I suddenly feel really sick and out of breath. I rush to my doctor's office and they send me to the hospital again to get an echo-cardiogram done (essentially an ultrasound of your heart). Turns out they think I have something called "Pericarditis" which is when the tissue lining your heart becomes enlarged and inflamed. It not only causes chest pain, but makes you extremely tired and generally just feel really sick.

I've been back to the doctor's a couple of times and today was at St. Mike's Hospital in Toronto to see a cardiologist. He thinks it's pericarditis as well, although they can't really be 100% sure as it wouldn't necessarily show up on tests and blood work, etc. He said that normally it just goes away on it's own and all you can do is rest and take medication for the pain. I'm feeling a bit better today so I'm hoping that I'm back to my normal self in a couple of days, but then this past Wednesday I was starting to feel better but took a turn yesterday and was feeling horrible again (so bad I almost went back to the ER). They did do some more tests today as there is a small chance I could have something else, but hopefully it is what it is and will go away for good soon!

Being a relatively heathy, young person, this whole experience has been a bit of a slap in the face for me. I literally went from feeling totally fine to completely sick in a matter of days and haven't been able to work or do much of anything except sleep and lay on the couch for almost two weeks! It has taught me though that you should never take your health for granted 'cause you never know when that could change or something could happen that would change your life forever.

If ever I needed an incentive to start exercising regularly and eat healthy, this would definitely be it. Pericarditis is classified as a heart disease, so for me to be 28 and have had heart disease is a pretty scary thing. I know it could have been much worse (and hopefully I'm at the tail end of it) but it's been an awakening, that's for sure.

You never know how much time you have left. Live the life you want today, tell the people you love that you love them today. It's cliche, but tomorrow may not come and the present moment is all you ever have!

Read more...

It's Over . . .

Well my vacation is over. I'm heading back to work this afternoon for a closing shift so I've been counting down all morning as I see the last minutes of my vacation slipping away. It was a good week - we just kind of puttered around the house, went for a lot of drives, visited my brother-in-law and niece and nephew, hung out with the girls, and went out to eat a lot. We also got some new music software and installed in on the computer so now I can finally record stuff! It was good to have the week off with Chris as it's pretty rare that we both have time off at the same time. And it was really good to be able to sleep in every day and just be able to be at home and enjoy the nice weather and do whatever we wanted!

So now the countdown will soon begin to our summer vacation! We're thinking of taking two weeks off in August, or maybe we'll do one week in July and one in August. My parents are having a little family reunion in August so we'll definitely be heading down to the farm for a couple of days in August to hang out with the Brimley clan. It's also our two-year wedding anniversary on August 12th and it's my year to plan it so I better get started!

Read more...

Maria Shriver

Did anyone catch Oprah today? Maria Shriver was on talking about her book "Just who will you be?" and it was an excellent show. I've never really known a lot about Maria Shriver but she comes across as a very wise and well-rounded woman and the book seems like something all women could relate to. It's about figuring out who you really are and who you want to be and how to get there. The show actually intrigued me enough to start searching for more information about her and see if there's a biography or autobiography on her I can get my hands on. Definitely seems to be a woman one can look up too and learn from.

Read more...

Need . . .Vacation . . . . . . now!

I know I've been neglecting this little 'ole blog of mine. They say when it rains it pours and sure enough all aspects of my life seem to get really busy all at once. I only have 3 days left at work before Chris and I take a week long vacation though, so then I'll actually have time to post something meaningful on here. We're not going anywhere (I wish), just chillin' at home, gonna watch us some movies and gain about 10 pounds. Awesome.

Read more...