Love, love, love

I am in love with the world. I'm finally feeling like my normal self again, and let me tell you - after two weeks of feeling like a zombie, feeling "normal" feels pretty great! There really is nothing like feeling crappy for awhile to make you appreciate your health and your life more than ever. I've been thinking a lot the past couple of weeks about things (as there was not much else to do). Thinking about where I am in life, what I'm doing (and what I'm not doing), who I am and who I could be, what I'm grateful for and what I wish I could change. Here's a couple of things I came up with:

- I am extremely blessed. I have a great family and friends who love me for exactly who I am. I am married to the love of my life who thinks I'm the funniest, cutest, most lovable person ever (not saying I am, but hey - if he thinks I am, who am I to argue)? I have a full-time job with great benefits, a roof over my head and food in the fridge, and even though sometimes it's a struggle to pay the bills, I know that I will never have to live on the street or worry about many of the things a lot of other people have to worry about. I live in a country where we don't have to worry about footing the bill for our hospital stays, where you can become whatever and whomever you want to be and don't have to censore yourself. I have more doors open to me and possible pathways to follow then some people could even imagine. I am truly, truly blessed.

- What else do I know? I know that with all these blessings, I have not yet fully realized my true potential or my true self. I know that perhaps knowing yourself, really knowing yourself, is a life-long pursuit. Maybe it is not until we are old and dying that we realize who we really are. Is that what wisdom is? Not knowing things, but knowing yourself? I think I'm coming to the realization that maybe the answer to the age-old question "what is the purpose of life" is simply this: to know who you are. If you know who you are, everything else will fall into place. If you truly know yourself, nothing can stand in your way. And if you know yourself, you would be able to connect with life and thus connect with others on a deeper level every day of your life. You would naturally strive to serve your family, your community, the world in an effort to make the world a better place after you are gone. Hmm, this is getting quite existential, so let me reel myself back in here. In order to better realize my true potential, there are some things I have now realized I need to do. These are all things I've thought about for awhile now but have simply come into sharper focus over the last couple of weeks:

* I'm going to go back to school. I don't know exactly for what or in what capacity, but I miss learning. I loved school. I missed school. I need to open my mind and kick-start that brain again!
* I'm going to volunteer. I need to better serve my community and make use of my time in a more productive manner. I am great at consuming and taking, but not so great at giving. I'm thinking I'll volunteer either at a hospital or an animal shelter.
* I'm going to do a triathlon. I have no idea how or when, but I'm going to do one within the next year.
* I'm going to meditate and pray. Every day. No matter what, no matter how busy I am. Everyday for at least half an hour.

As the lyrics go in one of Gavin Degraw's songs (he's amazing): "Oh, this is the start of something good -don't you agree? I haven't felt like this in so many moons, you know what I mean?"