Still

Still sick.

It's horrible. Every time I think I'm starting to feel better it comes back and I feel I'm back at square one.

I've been back to the doctor and have now been referred to a specialist and will probably finally get a CT scan so they can get a thorough look at everything ('cause I guess a million ultrasounds doesn't show certain things?) Arghhh - I'm so frustrated.

To be honest, it's really getting me down. I keep trying to remind myself of advice I always give to other people (which is everything happens for a reason), but man - it's hard to follow your own advice sometimes! Even Chris has said that I'm not myself and am acting different, but I just can't be my usual happy, goofy self when I have this constant pain and feel so blah all the time. I want to go out and do stuff and have fun, but I just don't have the energy, and definitely don't have the energy to act like I'm fine when I'm not.

My doctor was quite reassuring today though, and assured me we would figure out what's going on. I was even starting to question whether it's all just been in my head and nothing's wrong at all and maybe I'm just going crazy, but I know that's not true (and she doesn't think that's the case either - yup, don't worry folks, I'm not crazy!). They said it's normal to start feeling a little depressed after feeling sick for this long - they said anyone would after feeling like they've had the flu for 2 months (which is kind of what I've been feeling - like it's one long bout of the stomach flu - with some other things thrown in there just for fun).

I know I shouldn't complaim, 'cause plenty of people out there have serious illnesses and things that are uncurable, and I know whatever I have isn't life-threatening (or I definitely would have kicked the bucket by now), but again - everything's always easier said than done.

I guess I'll just end this ranting, venting post by saying - Sickness - I hate you and would very much appreciate if you would just leave me now. We've become a little too well-acquainted and I think it's time for you to MOVE ON!!!!!!!!