Day 216

Long day at work today. I worked an 11-7 shift, which felt a little odd as I'm so used to working the early shift now (which is 7-3pm). At least the sun was still up when I got home, so I guess it wasn't too bad.

Tonight I'm just taking it easy and am gonna' try and go to bed early as tomorrow I'm back to the morning shift. Tomorrow's a busy day 'cause after work I have to clean up the house a little bit as we're having a Uganda fundraising meeting here Thursday night, and then I need to really try and finish writing one of the songs I'm working on. There's a few songwriting contests coming up that I'm entering and one of the deadlines is coming up very fast. I'm continually being amazed at how fast time is going by - how is it that it's already April? How is it that it's already been 2 weeks since my birthday?!

Speaking of my birthday - I have to say I'm really enjoying this whole being 30 thing. Seriously, it's pretty great. I know it may sound weird to say, but I actually do feel different. Not that I feel old, but I definitely feel different. I wouldn't say I feel "wiser", it's more like I feel more sure of myself. Things continue to become more "in focus", and it really is an amazing gift to be able to wake up each day and know that you are on the right path. I'm also becoming a lot better at defining my priorities and not feeling like I have to apologize for my priorities being what they are.

Before - not just "before I turned 30" but more for the entirety of my twenties, I always felt such a strong need to apologize for things and to also never say "no" to people. I would commit myself to things I knew I didn't want to do or knew I didn't have time for, but I always felt too guilty to say "no" or if I did - would apologize profusely for saying no.

I guess maybe it's just getting older and realizing that time is a finite thing and we all only get a certain amount of it, but I'm pretty much at the point now where I really don't have a problem saying no. I know what my priorites are for myself and for my family, and I don't have that nagging sense of "oh maybe I should do this" or "maybe I should have agreed to this, even though I don't want to". It's not about being rude or not being giving of your time and your abilities, but knowing what your path is and what you're here to do and how to use your time to fulfill that.

Anyway - I'm starting to ramble here, but to all my friends out there who are approaching thirty and are perhaps dreading it or feeling "old", trust me on this - it rocks so far. I wish I could have felt like this when I was 20, but we all need to grow and go through uncertainty to get to the point where we know ourselves. If aging only gets better, I say bring it on!!