When we don't understand
>> Monday, December 17, 2012
The other day I left work after a long, tiring day. I stopped at the store on my way home to pick up a few things, and as I waited in the check-out line to pay, my mind kept replaying the day - what I had done, what I still had yet to do, and my body kept reminding me how tired it was. I'll admit I was in a bit of a "woe is me"mode.
I paid for my things, got back in the car, and turned the radio on as I pulled out of the lot. That's when I heard the news for the first time - there had been a school shooting in Connecticut and some students had been killed. At that time, they didn't know much else, so with my heart starting to beat faster, I got home and turned the news on right away. The details of my day quickly left my mind as the details of the day in Newtown started to roll in, the disbelief starting to build.
What?
How?
Why?
I couldn't fathom that a shooter had gone to an elementary school. My heart just couldn't take it. 6 year olds? A kindergarten class? What? I don't understand!
I know many of us are asking these same questions.
I know many of us have the families and community of Newtown in our prayers.
I know many of us have had this thought cross our minds - how could God let this happen? Where was He in all of this?
I've seen lots of things on social media the last few days about this. I'm not going to pretend to be some sort of Biblical scholar who can make sense of all of this and comment on where God is when bad things happen. It wasn't all that long ago that I fully accepted Christ into my life, and I'm still learning. I don't know the answers, and I won't pretend that because I am a Christan I don't worry and I'm not afraid of the evil I see that is happening in our world.
To be honest - I worry about us. I really do. It has kept me up some nights, and I wonder about our future as a society.
I have no answers, I have nothing clever or wise to say.
I am as confused as the next person.
But I pray.
And I confess my worries and fears to the One I know created me.
I don't understand the world sometimes. But I trust Him.
And I know that one day, I will be in Heaven, standing in front of the Alpha and the Omega. The First and the Last. The Beginning and the End.
And there will be peace.
He has not left us.
He has not forsaken us.
And so I pray.
And will continue to pray.
For every child whose life was taken away.
For every parent whose grief is unimaginable.
For everyone.
For all of us.
He has not left us.
He has not forsaken us.
